Ok, this is not part of my Bible reading, but it has been on my mind a lot this last week since my husband flew overseas on a trip. And today I decided to just add my pondering's to this blog since it is women focused. So, hold on...I am going to be pretty transparent! And yes, this is dedicated to my husband, whom (even for all of the weird quirks he has) still holds my heart!
When we get married or even before we get married we dream of the "happily ever after" part of falling in love and spending our lives with that one special man. Those of us who are married know the hard work involved in order to make a marriage strong and last for that "ever after." And, no, it is not always happily. In fact, any married person who is honest will tell you there are a lot of "un-happily" parts of marriage.
This was the first time that Drew and I have been apart for this long of a time since we have been married. Honestly, I think he was looking forward to a break away from me! lol! I am human and I am a sinner and, yes, I do drive my husband a little nutty sometimes! And to top it all off I am pregnant and chasing around a 1 year old all day! I am most likely not the most amazing person to live with most days. Yes, I am guilty of nagging when the garbage needs to go outside or when I am sick and tired of picking up dirty socks all over my house and always there is a pair of shoes in my kitchen or living room that don't belong! But, in all honesty, that is life. That is part of living with another person. Drew works so hard at his job each day trying to support a growing family that is constantly getting bigger! Then he sacrifices of his time and gives so much of himself to our church. He has such a big heart and I love him for that! Then he comes home and takes care of Aaron and I and the needs that we have here as a loving father and husband.
In the throes of life, I don't always see this. I get selfish (as I mentioned in yesterday's post) and I demand that he serve ME more! I see his faults and the areas where he needs to improve in order to make MY life more pleasant. This isn't right. And I have done this to him way too many times! I need to keep my focus on my husbands amazing qualities! I need to focus on how much my husband DOES accomplish in his life. I need to lift up my husband and encourage him to keep doing a great job! I need to remember this week, and remember that what is most important is that I have my husband! And he loves me! Just like the sweet phrase describing Isaac and Rebekah "...and he loved her." Such a short simple phrase, but there is so much to that! I have that love!
So many marriages these days fall apart. And he is blaming her and she is blaming him, but really they both need to look at themselves and see that they are selfish sinners! Of course a marriage is not going to work if both people are being selfish! Marriage is not a 50/50 relationship. Instead I would say it is a 100/100. What do I mean? If you will give your husband 100% of yourself and not allow selfishness to reign in your life, but be completely self-less then you will get back 100% satisfaction! Will it be easy? No way! This goes completely against human nature! But I believe it is God's way! It pains me to see marriages fall apart because I think of my own life and I can see how if I or my husband did think differently on marriage (we are both committed to our relationship no matter what) the easy thing even a while ago would have been to get out! It is the easy thing to do. But I would not have found happiness.
My husband and I have been through MANY tough moments! The biggest and toughest issues we have dealt with have been finances and our big house remodel (which is still going on after almost 4 years!). We have had many "spats" over the last 5 years and each one I look back on I did not have the right attitude or response! Thats just how it goes. But I know this...my husband means everything to me and after being apart for a week (and I still have about a week before I see him again) I am looking forward to having him back in our home safe and sound even with all of his annoying quirks! Because I love him! I know he isn't perfect. He married an imperfect person. But he is MY husband. And I have shared so many special moments of my life with him. For all of the tough moments where we did not see eye to eye and the moments where he just drove me nuts, there are at least 10 (or more) moments that I can look back and I am thankful I got to share those with this man! Were they all happy moments in my life? No. But they were moments where I needed my husbands strong shoulder to lean on and moments that I would not have wanted to have shared with anyone else.
So I would encourage you. If you are not married, draw so close to God during this time and focus your life on building your relationship with him as you wait for your husband. Because when you do get married, I promise you will need to lean on God so much in order to have that "happily ever after!" That is the great secret to a "happily ever after" kind of marriage. It is a marriage with God at the center of EVERYTHING! Those moments where we struggled were moments that we left God out. And for those who are married, keep God at the center of your marriage! If your husband does not know God, be the kind of wife spoken of in the Bible and he will see a difference in your life! And if your husband does know God I would like to share with you what a very godly woman shared with me on my wedding day: When you are the most mad and upset at your husband, remember your wedding day and remember WHY you married this man.
I cannot imagine life without my husband! It is for this reason that I can say that we have a "happily ever after."
2 comments:
Thank you for loving me, and for those times you try to help me see my continuing "quirks" and sins. That, among so many other things, is why I love you! You are a treasure to me far above the finest rubies. And I love you.
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