Duck! So God can Reach Your Man!

Last night I read a different (and convicting) twist on that dreaded word, SUBMISSION, in the book Capturing His Heart.

I have a strong personality. Head strong is probably an accurate description. I like to be in control. I am a mess when things get out of my control. It is simply how I am wired and it is an area I have really had to work on A LOT in our marriage. Submission is something I struggle with (as all women who are honest do). Being married to a sinner saved by grace is not an easy task! Just because you are saved does not make you perfect. Sometimes it is just hard to submit to a less than perfect person who just can't seem to do things how I expect/want them done! Major exaggeration going on....but still if we are honest, we have all had these thoughts! 

But what is the reality of submission? It is letting go of the reigns and handing them to God and our  husbands and saying....ok! I am not supposed to be in charge. 

What am I saying? Stop trying to fix all of your husbands problems. If he isn't as perfect as you would have him to be then duck out of the way so God can touch him and make him the man God desires him to be! 

What does this entail? Quit pointing out his failures and flaws spiritually and otherwise. Instead, duck out of the way...fall to your knees and pray! Pray for your husband! Pray that God would continue to mould and shape him into the man of your dreams or better yet a man after God's heart! Let God point out the areas he needs to work on!

This is a lesson learned for me. And one I need to work on daily! 

Submission does not mean letting your husband take advantage of you or treat you as some slave. Nope, submission is simply allowing your husband to be the leader and head of your home, and you stepping aside so God can direct his life! 

Let's determine to start today! Find moments to "duck out of the way" and pray for your husband so God can make him and your marriage great! 

If Only My Husband Would Change!

Oh, how I could relate to these first two chapters of these books! Somehow I really think God directed me to these two books instead of simply stumbling across them on Amazon! 

How many times do we think to ourselves...."If only my husband could see how he needs to improve or change! My life and our relationship would be so much better!" I have been there! I have thought those exact words! Or how about the times when our emotional state is determined by whether or not we are getting along with our husbands? Yup! I can raise both hands high on that one! 

But what is the truth? What is the solution to both of these problems?

When our emotional state is dictated by whether or not our relationship with our husbands is going well then we are allowing our husbands to be our "god." Yup....I never saw this before, but can say I have been guilty of such. If God is truly number one in our lives then it won't matter if things are going great or if we have some things we need to work through with our Hubby's. Our peace should rest in the approval of Christ and Him alone. The main question is, who are we living for? We ought to be living for Christ and not our husband. If we are living for Christ, and things are not perfect between us and our husbands, then we can still be at peace knowing we can work through it and be ok! Yeah, easy to read and understand, but not always easy to live. The main point, instead of always thinking of ways our husbands need to change, lets turn the mirror around and look for ways we can change! Allow God to be God in your life. Live for Him! Build and grow your relationship with Him and know that God can carry you through the ups and downs of married life! 

Then came the next book and that first chapter. It seemed to just add on to the first book. 

Empathy. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Putting ourselves in our husbands shoes! Trying to see life as he sees it! I know...not always easy! I could relate to her illustration! So, here is how things normally go in my world....Drew is at work all day long, and I am home with the kids. He comes home and I have been anticipating his arrival all day! He walks in the door, exhausted! The only things on his mind are food, and sleep! But what welcomes him? A super chatty wife, excited and busy children, and a list of things he needs to get done at home. No wonder he walks in the door sometimes and he finds a quiet spot and can be a little gruff! I haven't been thinking of him and his needs! Instead I am thinking of my own. I will admit, I get selfish when he comes home and secludes himself. I wish I could do the same thing sometimes! But that is not my reality at the moment. Sometimes I even think critically of my husband. 

All of this is not right! We need to lift up our husbands and think well of them. Let them have some space when they need it. Provide that space if possible. Don't grumble and complain when they do stuff that drives you nuts (like leave messes around the house or forget to fix something). Their brains are wired differently than ours. 

Try to understand your husband and serve him! 

When we are tempted to think on our husbands shortcomings and failures, we need to instead be reminded of their strengths and the reasons we are thankful for them! 

I know! So much homework! Being married to a man is not an easy task! But when we have a close relationship with God and we work on areas in our own lives and change to be better wives, we will reap the benefits of a great relationship with the man we love! 

On the side....

As I am realizing that amazingly ten years has gone by since I met my husband, I have found two books that I am also going through in addition to reading through my Bible. My goal: to be a better wife and understand the heart of my husband more. He is a complicated creature...ok, maybe not...but still, with our differences I don't understand him often and this leads to frustration for both of us. The two books I am gojng through are simple, straightforward, and laid out in such a way that it is easy to read a chapter (both of which are short) and munch on something each day. 

The books:

Capture His Heart

    by Lisa Terkeurst

           and

Buried Treasure: Revealing Your Husband as the Man of Your Dreams. 

    by Leslie Monroe

Will probably be writing little blurbs on things I learn as I go. :)