Wisdom and Folly Part 3: Proverbs 7-9

I was prepared to have a lot of spaces filled in about Folly/Strange Woman, but amazingly, I filled in more about Wisdom/Virtuous Woman! Really a neat study/comparison!

Wisdom/Virtuous Woman	Folly/Strange Woman
Treasures instruction 7:1	Forbidden/strange 7:5
Avoids folly/strange women 7:5	Simple 7:7
Raises her voice 8:1	Lacking sense 7:7
Takes a stand 8:2	Goes about in secret/darkness 7:9
Learns prudence 8:5	Dressed as a prostitute 7:10
Learns sense 8:5	Wily of heart 7:10
Speaks noble things 8:6	Loud 7:11
From her lips comes what is right 8:6	Wayward 7:11
Mouth utters truth 8:7	Feet do not stay home 7:11
Wickedness is an abomination to her lips 8:7	Lies in wait 7:12
Words of mouth are righteous 8:8	Bold face 7:13
Nothing twisted or crooked in her words 8:8	Seductive speech 7:21
Instruction better than silver 8:10	Smooth talk 7:21
Knowledge better than gold 8:10	House is the way of Sheol 7:27
Wisdom better than jewels 8:11	Neglect instruction 8:33
All desires cannot compare to her 8:11	Fails to find wisdom, injures himself 8:36
Dwells with prudence 8:12	Love death because of hatred of wisdom 8:36
Finds knowledge and discretion 8:12	Corrects/reproves a scoffer 9:7
Fear of the Lord is hatred of evil 8:13	Loud 9:13
Hates pride, arrogance and the way of evil 8:13	Seductive 9:13
Hates perverted speech 8:13	Knows nothing 9:13
Has counsel and sound wisdom 8:14	Sits at the door of her house 9:14
Has insight and strength 8:14	Calls to those who lack wisdom 9:15
By her, rulers govern justly 8:15-16	Her guests are dead 9:18
Loves those who love her 8:17
Those who seek her will find her 8:17
She has riches and honor 8:18
Her fruit is better than gold and silver 8:19
She walks in the way of righteousness 8:20
Walks the paths of justice 8:20
Grants an inheritance to those who love her 8:21
Created by God in the beginning 8:22-30
God’s delight 8:30-31
Hear instruction and does not neglect 8:33
Whoever finds her, finds life 8:35
Whoever finds her, finds favor of the Lord 8:35
Builds her house 9:1-3
Walks in the way of insight 9:6
Reproves a wise man 9:8
Gives instruction to the wise 9:9
Knowledge of God 9:10
Days will be multiplied 9:11

Wisdom and Folly Part 2: Proverbs 4-6

These chapters in Proverbs had a whole lot more to say about Folly/the Strange Woman.

So many thoughts that pop out at me. The virtuous woman is not one to gossip, thinks about the paths before her and walks accordingly on the path of light (wow!). And listens to instruction and knowledge.
The Strange Woman despises instruction and knowledge and her path is one of darkness on which she stumbles along not thinking about the way she has chosen.
One thing that stands out to me as I do this comparison is how the Virtuous Woman description has depth. Whereas the Strange Woman is only characterized by the externals. Her eyes, her tongue, her speech. Her actions, attitudes, words, and appearance all give her away. It seems that the Virtuous Woman would be more reserved. And not known by what she does, but rather what she does not do, or does not say. Just interesting.

Wisdom/Virtuous Woman	Folly/Strange Woman
Listens to instruction 4:1	Wicked and violent 4:17
A high prize 4:8	Way is deep darkness 4:19
Path is light 4:18	They do not know what makes them stumble 4:19
Guards her heart with vigilance 4:23	Crooked speech 4:24
Thinks about the path she chooses 4:26	Lips that drip honey 5:3
Uses discretion 5:2	Speech smoother than oil 5:3
Lips that guard knowledge 5:2	Bitter and sharp speech 5:4
Led by wise instruction 6:22	Follow the path of destruction 5:5
See’s teaching and instruction as a light to their path 6:23	Does not think about the path she chooses 5:6
	Wanders without thinking 5:6
	Hates discipline 5:12
	Despises reproof 5:12
	Does not listen to teachers or instructors 5:13
	Held in sin 5:22
	Lazy 6:6 6:9
	Worthless 6:12
	Perverted heart 6:14
	Haughty eyes 6:17
	Lying tongue 6:17
	hands that shed innocent blood 6:18
	Feet that run to do evil 6:18
	False witness who breathes out lies 6:19
	Sows discord 6:19
	Captures with her eyelashes 6:25
	Commits adultery 6:32
	Lacks sense 6:32
	Gets Wounds and dishonor 6:33

Wisdom and Folly or the Virtuous Woman and Strange Woman?

My husband challenged me as I read Proverbs to do a comparison chart and view wisdom and folly as the virtuous woman and strange woman. We all know that Proverbs was written by Solomon to his son. So, it makes sense that to relate to his son, Solomon would talk in comparison to the right and wrong woman. Interesting thought. Today I read Proverbs 1-3 and it was easy to see the traits of a virtuous woman verses the traits of a strange woman. Check out the chart below and strive today to put on the traits of wisdom! I will be sharing my charts over the next few days as I travel through proverbs!

Wisdom/Virtuous Woman	Folly/Strange Woman
Fears the Lord 1:7	Despise wisdom and instruction 1:7
Does not walk in the way of fools 1:15	Feet run to evil 1:16
Has security 1:33	Delight in scoffing 1:22
Does not fear disaster 1:33	Greedy of unjust gain 1:19
Knowledge is pleasant 2:10	Hate knowledge 1:22 1:29
Understands righteousness, justice, and equity 2:9	Refuse to listen to wisdom 1:24
Walks in integrity 2:7	Did not choose to fear the Lord 1:29
Saved for the upright 2:7	Destroyed by complacency 1:32
Given by God 2:6	Perverted speech 2:12
Delivered from evil 2:12	Forsake the paths of uprightness 2:13
Inhabit the land 2:21	Walk in darkness 2:13
Trusts in the Lord 3:5	Rejoice in doing evil 2:14
Honors the Lord with wealth 3:9	Delight in perverseness 2:14
Better than silver and gold 3:14	Ways are crooked and devious 2:15
More precious than jewels 3:15	Smooth words 2:16
Hands hold long life, riches, and honor 3:16	Forsakes the companion of her youth 2:17
Ways are pleasant 3:17	Forgets the covenant of her God 2:17
Paths are peace 3:17	House sinks to death 2:18
Tree of life 3:18	Depends on own understanding 3:5
Inherit’s honor 3:35	Wise in own eyes 3:7
	Despises discipline 3:11
	Get’s disgrace 3:35

Thoughts as I begin reading about Solomon.

As I ponder the life of David, (that I just finished reading about) and begin reading about Solomon, and catch glimpses of the heart of this man, I am struck by a single thought. Our legacy is important. 

David did not live a perfect life. He dealt with anger, lust, and adultery. Yet, he was called a "man after God's own heart." I look at his life and see how God can take our sin cursed lives and turn them into something beautiful. 

Just beginning in the life of Solomon, much is shown of his heart. He loved his Lord. He cared much for his people and the responsibility before him as their king. So much so that when God asked him what one thing he desired, he asked for wisdom and understanding to better lead and guide his people! 

If God came to you and asked you what one thing you desired, what would your response be? Would you ask for riches and power? Or would you ask for wisdom on how you can better lead and guide your family? 

We live in a materialistic world. I am sure Solomon also lived in a world where "things" were what counted towards ones wealth in the eyes of man. 

Back to the legacy. Solomon had the guidance from a man who was not perfect, who made wrong choices in his life, who stumbled in his walk with God. He saw firsthand how sin could destroy a man's life and the lives of others. His father was king David! 

No, we are not royalty. No, we do not have nations to lead. But we have precious lives of the children that God has given to us. Children who will see our low moments in life. Who will see us fail and make mistakes and sin against God. But do our children also see us raised up again by God to worship Him in the midst of our darkest moments in life? Are we teaching our children about the heart of God? Are we teaching our children about sin? Are we teaching our children about the redeeming power of the Gospel? Or are we just correcting behavior? I am preaching to myself today. 

So many times I desire my children act a certain way to please me. This is not altogether bad, but if all I reach is the outward actions and lose their hearts, then I have failed as a parent! 

I need to reach their hearts! I need to teach them what a redeemed heart looks like! I need to lead their hearts to God so that they can then give God their hearts and lives! 

As parents we have a very large and overwhelming task before us. A task that, without God, is truly impossible. Let us strive to be parents after God's heart and also parents after the hearts of our children! Let us ask God for wisdom and knowledge to lead these little ones that we have been entrusted with. Just as Solomon learned to love God from the legacy of his father, let us start a similar legacy that teaches our children to love God as a result of our lives! 

Duck! So God can Reach Your Man!

Last night I read a different (and convicting) twist on that dreaded word, SUBMISSION, in the book Capturing His Heart.

I have a strong personality. Head strong is probably an accurate description. I like to be in control. I am a mess when things get out of my control. It is simply how I am wired and it is an area I have really had to work on A LOT in our marriage. Submission is something I struggle with (as all women who are honest do). Being married to a sinner saved by grace is not an easy task! Just because you are saved does not make you perfect. Sometimes it is just hard to submit to a less than perfect person who just can't seem to do things how I expect/want them done! Major exaggeration going on....but still if we are honest, we have all had these thoughts! 

But what is the reality of submission? It is letting go of the reigns and handing them to God and our  husbands and saying....ok! I am not supposed to be in charge. 

What am I saying? Stop trying to fix all of your husbands problems. If he isn't as perfect as you would have him to be then duck out of the way so God can touch him and make him the man God desires him to be! 

What does this entail? Quit pointing out his failures and flaws spiritually and otherwise. Instead, duck out of the way...fall to your knees and pray! Pray for your husband! Pray that God would continue to mould and shape him into the man of your dreams or better yet a man after God's heart! Let God point out the areas he needs to work on!

This is a lesson learned for me. And one I need to work on daily! 

Submission does not mean letting your husband take advantage of you or treat you as some slave. Nope, submission is simply allowing your husband to be the leader and head of your home, and you stepping aside so God can direct his life! 

Let's determine to start today! Find moments to "duck out of the way" and pray for your husband so God can make him and your marriage great! 

If Only My Husband Would Change!

Oh, how I could relate to these first two chapters of these books! Somehow I really think God directed me to these two books instead of simply stumbling across them on Amazon! 

How many times do we think to ourselves...."If only my husband could see how he needs to improve or change! My life and our relationship would be so much better!" I have been there! I have thought those exact words! Or how about the times when our emotional state is determined by whether or not we are getting along with our husbands? Yup! I can raise both hands high on that one! 

But what is the truth? What is the solution to both of these problems?

When our emotional state is dictated by whether or not our relationship with our husbands is going well then we are allowing our husbands to be our "god." Yup....I never saw this before, but can say I have been guilty of such. If God is truly number one in our lives then it won't matter if things are going great or if we have some things we need to work through with our Hubby's. Our peace should rest in the approval of Christ and Him alone. The main question is, who are we living for? We ought to be living for Christ and not our husband. If we are living for Christ, and things are not perfect between us and our husbands, then we can still be at peace knowing we can work through it and be ok! Yeah, easy to read and understand, but not always easy to live. The main point, instead of always thinking of ways our husbands need to change, lets turn the mirror around and look for ways we can change! Allow God to be God in your life. Live for Him! Build and grow your relationship with Him and know that God can carry you through the ups and downs of married life! 

Then came the next book and that first chapter. It seemed to just add on to the first book. 

Empathy. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Putting ourselves in our husbands shoes! Trying to see life as he sees it! I know...not always easy! I could relate to her illustration! So, here is how things normally go in my world....Drew is at work all day long, and I am home with the kids. He comes home and I have been anticipating his arrival all day! He walks in the door, exhausted! The only things on his mind are food, and sleep! But what welcomes him? A super chatty wife, excited and busy children, and a list of things he needs to get done at home. No wonder he walks in the door sometimes and he finds a quiet spot and can be a little gruff! I haven't been thinking of him and his needs! Instead I am thinking of my own. I will admit, I get selfish when he comes home and secludes himself. I wish I could do the same thing sometimes! But that is not my reality at the moment. Sometimes I even think critically of my husband. 

All of this is not right! We need to lift up our husbands and think well of them. Let them have some space when they need it. Provide that space if possible. Don't grumble and complain when they do stuff that drives you nuts (like leave messes around the house or forget to fix something). Their brains are wired differently than ours. 

Try to understand your husband and serve him! 

When we are tempted to think on our husbands shortcomings and failures, we need to instead be reminded of their strengths and the reasons we are thankful for them! 

I know! So much homework! Being married to a man is not an easy task! But when we have a close relationship with God and we work on areas in our own lives and change to be better wives, we will reap the benefits of a great relationship with the man we love! 

On the side....

As I am realizing that amazingly ten years has gone by since I met my husband, I have found two books that I am also going through in addition to reading through my Bible. My goal: to be a better wife and understand the heart of my husband more. He is a complicated creature...ok, maybe not...but still, with our differences I don't understand him often and this leads to frustration for both of us. The two books I am gojng through are simple, straightforward, and laid out in such a way that it is easy to read a chapter (both of which are short) and munch on something each day. 

The books:

Capture His Heart

    by Lisa Terkeurst

           and

Buried Treasure: Revealing Your Husband as the Man of Your Dreams. 

    by Leslie Monroe

Will probably be writing little blurbs on things I learn as I go. :)